Loki
by Yorsh Passangero
Summary: Mischief, T rated jokes, a nordic god, a group of teen heroes and a plan for the end of this world... better than this bloody paragraph
1. Set Out to Mislead

Loki

Welcome to this fictional piece of writing!… why I'm writing a fic about Loki, a Nordic god on the teen titan's fandom? Easy, because Loki is a shape shifter, a guy with the same humor as Groucho Marx and ambivalent as anyone of us… he is (in some twisted way) just like our Beast Boy (well, excepting the green fu… skin, and the lack of humorous jokes) but well, that's life… if you need information about the most cool Nordic god... Go and search!

**Disclaimers: I don't own the Titans, they are property of DC and Warner… in the other hand Loki is property of the entire world so I can use it whenever I want… or he uses us … who knows**

Chapter 1: Set out to mislead…

Imagine this place… a place in a Nordic tundra, if you walk a hundred paces you will see a guy that is chained to a rock, he is chained to his shoulders, his loins and his knees and above him he has a very poisonous snake spiting venom to his face and causing him pain beyond human strenght… well, that guy is Loki, the sly one, the trickster, the guy that had to save the god's asses a million times. Now he is suffering that punishment because he "killed" Balder, the god of light… (Well, he killed him, but that should happened, you know, Loki is a important part of the ragnarok) so now he is the scapegoat of the Nordic gods… but he is not alone, he has a wife, Sigyn, who is loyal to him and she has a large bowl that prevents the venom to drop at Loki´s face… she is the only one that helps him and the only one that didn't abandon him when the gods punish him… "Oh, Loki, my beloved husband… how much you and I will have to take this burden" Sigyn asked to Loki

"Well, my dear… I don't have any bloody idea… the only thing that I know is that the doom of the gods is near and they will pay for this… and the first thing that I will do when they release me is to eat a snake beef… did you hear me?"-As he says to the emotionless snake above him- "you've hear me, you are going to be my first meal before the ragnarok, you rotten snake"

"Calm down my dear, we have waited eons for that moment, so we can wait a mere thousand years for that day"

"That's right; you know that I love you?

"Yes, you have told me that about 1 million times, plus the other times that I find you cheating on me and saying that phrase to other girls…"

"Well, you know what they say, behind every successful man is a woman, and behind her is his wife"

"Ah, now I remember why I always forgive you, because you are funny as a god"

"Honey… I'm a god, don't forget that"

"I will not"

"Hey, wanna hear a good joke?"

"Ok, my love"

"how many gods do you need to change the oil of a oil lamp? Five, one to change it an the other four to see who is the greater god "

"HAHAHAHA, that one always cracks me up"

and that was the way of living of Loki and His wife… until one day, a familiar of Loki made him a visit…

"So, Odin, my brother, what brings you to my lovely hut at the tundra?"

The familiar was none other that Odin, the most important god of all the Valhalla, the big daddy of them all and his blood brother.

"Believe me, it wasn't my idea to come here, but… Loki, the gods need your help"

"HAHAHAHAHAHA, you guys crack me up, first I have to save your butts a thousand times and after all that I made to you, you put me here, chained and with that bloody snake above me… are you nuts?"

"As I told you, it wasn't my idea to came here and ask you help, but you are the only one that is crazy enough to go and make a suicidal mission"

"And why should he accept that nonsense" asked Sigyn

"Because if he succeed, I will release you and you will be free, free as the wind that blows in our gelid tundra"

"And why the gods need my help? I guess that you can save your own assess by yourself, ´cause you are gods! For our own sakes"

"Because we need a guy that is supposedly out of action, and that is guy is you, you see, ye need you to go to the 5º world and stop a evildoer called Slade Wilson"

"Nice name, it sounds to me as a guy with a four-year-old brain"

"We wish that, but the guy is pure evil, and he is out of his mind too"

"Well it sounds like a piece of cake… why you can't stop him?

"Because we can't mess in that world, ´cause we're gods and we can do nothing about it"

"But what is his plan?" Sigyl asked

"His plan is to summon us and provoke the "you know what" before its original release"

"ok… the guy is a lost cause, and what I have to do to stop him, I can kill him in very unpleasant ways… or just make the 5º world most fucking joke of all time on his sorry bloody ass"

"NO! You just have to use a human body and stop him!"

"A HUMAN BODY! THOSE THINGS ARE FRAGILE AS A WOOD STICK!"

"This body isn't an ordinary one, he is a superhero on his world…Loki, meet Garfield Logan a.k.a. Beast Boy"

"I tell you, my dear… those guys on the 5º world have quite a lack of imagination… and why is he called Beast Boy"

"Because he is a shape shifter, he can morph his body into any animal in that world"

"Hmm… one point to his score… but why he is green, it's some kind of a curse?´cause he looks like a walking lettuce, or a green underground elf"

"No, he is green because of a sickness, and he is part of a group of superheroes called…"

"Let me guess, the UNDERWEARING SUPER GAY MEN!"

"No, actually they're called "Teen Titans""

"Bummer… Ok… I accept, but first I have to make you a question, this thing was Thor´s idea?"

"Yes, it was his suggestion to send you to this mission"

"So that means that he is still pissed about the corn and squirrel incident"

at the first time of this conversation, Odin laughs his head off "yeah, but everyone in Valhalla think that the joke was the cruelest, meanest but funniest joke of all eons"

"Thank you, and by the way, can you release me from these chains?"

"Ok, but first you have to make a promess… you not will raise havoc on that world… because if we heard a word of our heralds I´ll bring you here and put a lock on your balls, you get it?"

"Aye, aye my capt´n!"

"Ok, you're free"

With a clap of his hands, Odin released Loki from his eternal prison and his first action as a free man was to… kiss his wife… and kill the bloody snake…

"Wow, that was good or what?"

"You tell me, I haven't been kissed in that way since the last time that we shagged"

"Note to myself, after all this work is due… I will shag my wife, ok Odin, tell me, where do you send me, and please, if you send me to a town, please, give me nice clothes… you know, I have a reputation to watch"

"The town is called Jump City; you'll share the boy's body…."

"Wait… I have to share it? ...this is getting funnier at every second that passes"

"And please, do not play with the boy's mind… "

"Ok daddy"

And then it all became blurry, and the first thing that Loki saw was the buildings "wow, those are big castles… wait… what did Odin told me? Oh yeah… to find the T shaped Tower… ok, let's find it"

As every god… Loki was a handsome god, he is a 6´4´´ guy with some muscles, black hair, green eyes and a goatee… and he looked as a rock-star sterotype on his "human outfit" "damn, I miss my feather cloak, I look like crap"… after 2 hours of wandering and wondering on the big city and the beautiful looking females…"hmm I can get used to this… ouch… sorry dear…" he get to the titan tower…

"Ok, now how I can communicate with them… ah… the intercom… wait… what the fuck is a intercom, ah that's is… thank you Odin" Loki said as the stream of human knowledge went to his brain,

He went to the intercom and speaked … "yeah… can I get 2 pieces of deer and a pint of beer?"

"Ha-ha, very funny smart ass" said a deadpan voice "what do you want here?"

"I'm looking for the guy called Garfield Logan… he got mail"

"Well, put it in the letterbox and leave…." Raven, the empath/dark girl of the team said tho the god

"I can't, it certificate mail, only he can receive it"

"Ok, can you wait a few minutes?"

"Of course _I have waited eons; I can wait a few minutes_"

Finally, after 15 minutes of waiting, the green guy showed up

"Are you Garfield Logan?"

"Yeah… Why?"

"Sorry boy, this is going to hurt me more than will hurt me… well, no, it will hurt YOU more"

He put his right hand on BB´s head and transplanted his soul onto BB´s Body….

The first thing that BB/Loki saw was the faces of the other titans ...

"Hey, who are they?"

"they are the titans... and who asked that"

"I did... Let me introduce myself... I´m Loki... God of Mischief and we will be sharing your body for a time"

and after that everything went black... again


	2. Who are you?

Welcome back... i´ve missed you... well, not really... thanks for the review, it was nice, so, if you wanna review giving me support or blaming me for the end of the world... it´s up to you...

**Disclamer: I don´t owe them... i own my own life...**

* * *

If the words are written this way... it normal talking

_If the words are wrtiten this way, they´re thinking_

What do you think when in a normal day, when everything goes "just peachy", a black haierd dude touches you in the shoulder and all of a sudden tou woke up and... TA-DA! You get a nordic god sharing your body... well, that´s the situation of Garfield Logan, better known as Beast Boy... as he was chosen by the gods to be a part of a complex plan for saving this world from an event called "Ragnarok" (the fall of the gods, in english) that involves the end of all living creatures on the face of this earth... but the only thing that keeps BB´s head busy is that he is sharing his body with Loki, and that was without permission... but who can say no to divine intervention "_...ok, this is just a bad dream, when I wake up, everything it´s going to be allright and the only voice that i´ll hear in my head it´ll be my inner child_" said and utterly nervous Beast Boy

"_eh... sorry to be the bearer of bad news here, but I think that you´re dead and the rent a corpse agency screwed me, because I hear a high pitched voice that annoys me to the point of trying to choke myself with some cow intestines_" the sly one said.

_"that means that i´m dead?... **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... **IT CANNOT BE, I´M TO YOUNG TO DIE, TO YOUNG AND VIRGIN TO DIE... WHY!_"screamed in his head a crying BB

"_HAHAHAHA, you humans are so easy to trick, just touch the death string and they scream and cry just like newborns" _Loki said to his mind and body mate, who doesn´t listen to him, because he still in a "i´m a corpse" frenzy _"lad, calm down... stop whining..."_

_"... things to see, people to talk, girls to fall in love with..."_

_"hey, can you please SHUT YOUR SNOUT UP? I´m trying to introduce myself, I´m Loki and you are Garfield Logan, am I right?"_

"_yes, that´s my name... but I don´t get it... why are you in my head?_ Asked Beast Boy, he doesn´know what to think, of all the things that have happened to him, this has to be the most strange situation in all the meanings of the word... even beating the jouney to the mind of Raven.

"_I can give you that answer, but i´ll have to kill you... just joking, I can´t give you this information at this moment, but you´ll figure out, now you have to wake up... and remember, we´re sharing bodies... so don´t screw this, now open your eyes"_... at the sound of those words, Beast Boy woke up, praying that the scenes that he saw were just a dream... but as usual... all the things that you wish, doesn´t come true . "Guys, i had the most weird dream, I was talking with..."

"_what did I told you?don´t screw this up, no one can know about my intrusion to your mind... so, please don´t end that sentence" _Loki said to his new mind mate.

"... you were talking with who?" asked the team leader, Robin

"... with my ...my ... imaginary friend... called... Len, Yeah, my friend Len" answered a now more hysteical laughing changeling _"that was so close... now how i´m going to take that voice out of my mind"_

"_well, you can try breaking you head to a wall, or wait... remember EVERYTHING WILL BE REVEALED AT IT´S TIME" _the god said the last sentence with a voice that sounded like the voice of the time itself

"... BB, wake up, earth calling to Garfield Logan" Cyborg tried to wake his green friend, until someone remembered a gos way to wake him up "friend Cyborg, if I remember well, you take friend beast boy out of his trance with a noise expelled from your inner organs" Starfire, the resident alien of the team, said to Cyborg "ok, i´ll do it... now everybody give me some room while I make miracles"

"if you can call that a miracle, i´m mother teresa" the empath of the team, Raven said in a ironic but deadpan tone of voice

"I ´ve always knew that... Just joking" Cyborg answered that with a big grin, now ready to wake his buddy from the trance .

The scene was astonishing, the earth moved, the animals run like hell, some babies cried, and in titan tower, the jaws of 3 teen heores reached new levels of lenght, ´cause you don´t see or hear a 30 secs. Burp ... and lived to tell that sighting

"dude, that was the most exelent burp of all time, you deserve an award" said a laughing beast boy

"that was the most rude thing that i have seen in this whole year" Raven said in a monotone voice "but it worked, now, beast boy, would you tell us something?"

"yeah, Rae... shoot"

"who is this guy, and why he was with you when you passed out , and why he passed out too? It has to be some sort of connection between your and his lost of conciesness..."

"_too much questions... let kill her!" _the Norse god said to BB

"_NOOO, don´t mess with her!" _

"_ok, i was joking, you know, that´s my job, save butts and tell jokes. Now tell her this..."_

"... i went to pick my mail, and i opened the envelope and by an unknow motive... i went black... and I don´t remember anything until the moment that i wake up..."

"but you went in a trance again... care to explain that?" Robin said to his green friend

"i just was thinking... it wasn´t a trance or something"

"ok, now i´m confused ... first you pass out, and now you take some time to think..." the dark girl said in a sarcastic tone "what will happen next, pink floyd will reunite again?"

"hahaha... really funny, but that´s all i can recall, and yes, that just happened, all the pigs flied" BB answered in a slightly angry tone _"wow... some tension in the air, am i right?"_ Loki said "_but don´t answer me... you don´t want to look like a nutcase"_

"friends, please, don´t fight... i´ll make the pudding of joy to celebrate beast boy´s recovery" Starfire said as sehe was going to the kitchen

"are you ok BB, can you walk?" Robin asked in a somewhat doctor like voice

"yeah, don´t worry, i´ll catch you up in a minutes..." answered the changeling, with the clear path he has some issues to take care of "ok...Loki, or what ever you´re called, tell me why you are inside my head" asked a very angry BB

"_hey, calm down... i´ll explain you... but i have to ask you something... where is my "human" body... because i don´t wanna lose it, it´s a piece of my entire being and i want it back when this end"_

"there is, in the stretcher, he looks like he is sleeping"

"_he is hibernating, waiting for me to come back... ok, with that settled subjet, i´ll tell you why i´m here, do you know what Ragnarok is?"_

"eh... a gothic club?..."

"_no... what are you, dumb?... oh wait... you´re a teen... and i can see that you know nothing about this... ok, the ragnarok it´s the end of the world, the end of the gods in your native language... it´s supposed to happen eons from this day... but a guy form this realm is trying to make it now... does it sounds the name Slade Wilson familiar to you?"_

"Slade?" screamed BB to the air... because he was talking with a being inside him.

"Slade, where is he, i´m going to kill him and stab him... MHWAHAHAHHA" Robin said as he was starting to collapse in the floor of the med bay

"ok, Robin, dude, chill out... i was remembering a case where he was responsible... and i just screamed his name... he is not here... so you can calm down---"

"are you sure, because he can me anywhere..."

"dude... Star is calling you... go!" and with that sentence, the teen wonder flew to the kitchen with some hearts above him (ok, i don´t have too much budget, so you can use your imagination...)

"_what the hell is wrong with him?"_

"2 words, compulsive obssesion"

"_that´s a good answe, but who is that slade guy...?"_

"sla... that guy, he is a supercriminal that is tried to take the world lot´s of times... even used Robin as his apprentice... and terra... but the last thing that we knew about him was that he allied with a demon called trigon and tried to make the prophecy that he made"

"_trigon, that pussy?... he owe me money... and let me guess, where was the portal... here?"_

"yes, and the girl with violet har and ash skin... Raven, she was the portal"

"_no way, the daughter of trigon is here?... well this is a small realm, isn´t, let me guess, you like her... dontcha?"_

"no way... she hates me... yes, well i like her a little"

"_ok, enough love talking, we have a realm to save..."_

"hey... but you haven´t told me, why are you inside me, i´m just a teen with powers and you are a god"

"_we have a pact... we can´t use our powers here... greek gods fault... and you should be grateful, the gods have chosen you..."_

"yeah, i know... but WHY ME?"

"_because you are the only being that has the sane abilities than me... but with the pact... i´m useless. So the gods chosen you to be the body that will host me, now you have my wise and my charm, hehehe... don´t worry lad, it will end soon, but now let´s eat... i´m hungry and so are you"_

"ok... let´s go, but this is my body, so please don´t do stupid things" said and worried BB "wow, i sound as a mix of robin, raven and my dad" and he just laugh, while he went to the kitchen he did´n notce that a violet haired girl listened his conversation "it seem that something really dangerous it´s coming to this place, and beast boy it´s part of it in someway... i´´ll have to talk with him..." but his word were silenced by the sound of the alarm and the voice of robin "Titans, be ready, is Slade..."

end of Cap. 2


End file.
